Terms of Endearment

I have noticed something. Many folks who blog use nicknames for their family members. Gluten-free Girl (Shauna James Ahern) calls her daughter, “Little Bean.” Pioneer Woman (Ree Drummond) calls her husband “Marlboro Man.” He really does ride a horse and work cattle, so I guess that’s fair. I suppose all of this is to protect the innocent, or something like that. Which brings me to a dilemma. What blog nickname should I attach to my honey-sweetie-pie-sugar-daddy? Because I don't think anyone will ever want to read that every time he comes up in the conversation. Not even if I shorten it to hspsd. I could just call him "sweetie," as I have before, and often do in real-life. But it's not very manly. Not like "Marlboro Man." And if he's going to be vicariously famous through my blog, he needs a manly name. I tried out a couple of names on Hspsd today as I pondered this decision. "What blog nickname do you prefer for yourself: Sweetie, or Precious?" Hspsd answered that I can only call him Precious if I use Gollum's accent. As in, "Whaaaatttt has it gooot in its naaaaasssttyyy little pocketeses, my Precious?" Hard to do the Golum accent via blog. Especially if you are not familiar with The Hobbit. So Precious is out. I would paste a pic of Gollum/Precious here but I just looked at some of his Google images – yikes, scary! No pics for Gollum... Hspsd tells me that Big K is an acceptable nickname, as it was his childhood nickname. Big K and Little D, his baby sister. Little D could seriously whoop Big K's arse when she was miffed, which, according to Big K, was often. So I have to laugh a bit at the irony of those names. Hspsd goes on to observe that as far as nicknames are concerned, "Big K" is a whole lot better than "Special K." If I call him "Special K" on the blog, he will call me "Trix" or "Fruit Loops." Or "Smackums." Oops, he meant "Honeysmacks." So I think "Big K" is gonna be The One. Now, what to call the Kiddle? C-baby is what I usually call her. Although she's not so much a baby anymore. Although she will always be my baby.

When I was naming her, I picked out a first name for her that could not be shortened. Three syllables, not shorten-able, no nicknames, did not rhyme with anything that grade-schoolers would want to tease her with. So the day care promptly chopped her name down to one letter - "C." And for a long time, she also went by "C-C." It got to the point where I would call her friends parents to ask if she was over there (she liked to disappear a lot after school) and if I asked for her by name, they would go like, "Huh?" "Nobody here by that name!" And I would sigh a big sigh and say, "OK, is CiCi there?" "Oh, yes she is!" Don't ever think you can pick your child's nicknames. And don't ever name them something that rhymes with "icky" or "sticky." Trust me on this one. So C-baby became my affectionate version of the daycare's chopped naming experiment. I like it much better. It reminds her that I am still the parent, even if she drives now and has a real job. But more than that, it is an endearment of affection. Because who wouldn't just love a C-baby in their life?

I know I would. And so would Big K. I think anyway. At least, he hasn't asked me to return her. Yet. Amen. -Honeysmacks

PostScript: After reviewing this entry, Big K has requested that he go by Pappa bear instead, or PB for short (not to be confused with Peanut Butter). So PB and Cb from here on after. Until he changes his mind. Again.

-HS